Archive for the ‘News and Cynical Banter’ Category

There was a senseless shooting that erupted earlier today during a midnight premier of the new Batman movie which tragically left 12 dead and 59 others injured.

Therefore, let’s make an effort not to point fingers or complain about the problems we face, and remember that there’re others in this world going through even more challenging situations. So when you’re with your loved ones this weekend, hug them a little tighter and don’t hesitate to tell them how much you love them.

– Ronsolo

Jeremy Lin and Carmelo Anthony
(Debby Wong/US Presswire)

It’s official, Jeremy Lin will be moving to Texas after the New York Knicks decided not to match the three year $25 million deal, offered by the Houston Rockets.

“It’s up to the organization to say (if) they want to match that ridiculous contract that’s out there,” Carmelo Anthony told the media last Sunday, in an article published by Yahoo! Sports.

Good job to Carmelo for concealing his true feelings about Lin, and coughing up some politically correct response. But what’s even more “ridiculous” than that is Melo’s own hefty three year contract for $64.4 million.

“Honestly, I preferred New York,” Lin said, in a Sports Illustrated interview. “But my main goal in free agency was to go to a team that had plans for me and wanted me. I wanted to have fun playing basketball … Now I’m definitely relieved.”

Let’s be honest and address the elephant in the room — there just was no chemistry between them. Last season, it seemed as if Melo would rather interact with the washed-up Baron Davis before even acknowledging Lin on the court.

And for a guy who doesn’t like passing the ball and then fails to accept responsibility for losing, I can imagine that there’s others on that team that lack chemistry with Melo, too.

“I would love to see him back honestly, but knowing the business of basketball, it’s kind of a tough situation,” said Melo. “With Jeremy, I know he definitely wants to be back and (James) Dolan definitely wants him back. It’s just a matter of figuring it out.”

I’m sure Lin wanted to remain in New York just as much as Carmelo really wanted him to stay. After all, isn’t it every pro basketball player’s dream to play with an egomaniacal “ball hog” anyways?

-Ronsolo

U.S. News & World Report

North Korean leader Kim Jong Ill died last Saturday at age 69, North Korean state TV recently reported.

It’s been rumored that Kim was born on Mount Paekdu, the highest point on the Korean peninsula, under a double rainbow, and possessed many supernatural powers.

According to a recent article from the U.S. News & World Report, North Koreans believe that Kim is a world-renowned fashion icon, the inventor of the hamburger, their country’s national soccer coach, and the very first time he played golf, Kim made 11 holes-in-one, among a host of enormous achievements. Additionally, Many North Koreans also believe that he had the “magical” ability to control the weather based on his mood.

Despite the latest reports from the media stating that North Korea’s supreme leader died from a heart attack, Kim actually died at the hands of wrestling legends, in a vicsious battle with Hulk Hogan and Randy “Macho Man” Savage … I guess his superpowers couldn’t defeat the baddest pro wrestles ever to step into the squared circle.

Just watch the video below.

 

-Ronsolo

Today, attorney Joseph Amendola, on behalf of accused child molester and former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, gave an impromptu news conference on the courthouse steps and announced that those who think Sandusky is a child molester should call “1-800-REALITY.”

“Anyone who is naive enough to think for a minute that Tim Curley, Joe Paterno and Gary Schultz and, for that matter, Graham Spanier, the university president, were told by Mike McQueary that he observed Jerry Sandusky having anal sex with a 10-year-old-looking kid in a shower at Penn State or Penn State property and their response was to simply tell Jerry Sandusky that, ‘Don’t go in the shower room any more with kids.’ I suggest you dial 1-800-REALITY. Because that makes absolutely no sense, ” said Amendola.

No, 1-800-REALITY isn’t Sandusky’s home phone number, however it may be a number that Sandusky is familiar with because it happens to be an actual gay sex line.

… I can already imagine the sarcastic headlines and Sandusky jokes.

Here’s an original one from yours truly: Have you heard of the other non-profit organization that Sandusky is involved with? It’s called the National Association for Marketing Big League Athletes – otherwise know as NAMBLA.

I guess it ain’t called the “Happy Valley” for nothing.

source – Yahoo!

NASA Rendering

Astronomers working with NASA‘s orbiting Kepler space telescope claim they’ve discovered an Earth-like planet that’s just 600 light years away.

Named Kepler-22b, experts say it orbits a sun-like star in the so-called “habitable zone,” which is a proximal distance not too close and not too far, where moderate temperatures on the planet would make liquid water – and life – possible.

Thrilled by this new discovery after years of searching for Earth-like planets, Jon Jenkins, co-investigator with the Kepler mission said, “It’s great to be at this point where we have this milestone of finding this first super-Earth planet in the habitable zone of a sun-like star.”

Scientists say that it’s about 2.4 times the size of Earth, and because of its mid-range location in the “habitable zone,” it probably enjoys pleasant daytime temperature of around 72 degrees Fahrenheit (22 degrees Celicius).

“Although this planet is over twice the size of the Earth, if it were indeed rocky, you could have liquid water pooling on the surface,” said Jenkins. “And as far as we know, liquid water is required by all life that we know about. So, it’s an incredibly necessary ingredient for life as we know it.”

Jenkins says it will be up to future missions and more powerful telescopes to determine if there actually is life on Kepler-22b, but also points out, that as more data is gathered on this distant world, life beyond Earth seems increasingly possible.

Well, if there are any “Kepler-22b-ings” that happen to be reading this blog, just know that me, Bill Cooper and Agent K are on our way. I’m gassing up the Millennium Falcon with enriched plutonium-244, and without any traffic we should be there by next Saturday.

source – Voice of America

Getty Images

Last week after a 149-day lockout the NBA players association and owners union finally came to a tentative agreement, and for the religious sports fans like myself it can’t come soon enough.

With the first game of a shortened 66-game-season set to begin on Christmas day, many teams are left now scrambling to prepare for opening day.

And as a Lakers fan I’m dying to see what they have in the works.

The season is shorter and they haven’t practiced together. The ever-wise Phil Jackson is gone, and they have a new less experienced coach in Mike Brown. In addition, their players are getting old and are banged up.

With so many different variables facing the Lakers organization I’m not worried, in fact I’m looking forward to this new change. This may sound pretty “zen-like,” but the only thing permanent is change. It’s all part of the conversion process.

With that being said, I’m looking forward to big adjustments and changes within the Lakers framework. I’m interested in witnessing the new leadership that Mike Brown brings. But most of all I’m interested in seeing the new acquisitions the team will receive.

So far I’m hearing names tossed around such as Chris Paul, in which we definitely could use a great starting point guard. Let’s face it Derek Fisher isn’t getting any younger, and we need a pair of quick legs to run the triangle offense.

Dwight Howard is another big name that I’d love to see come to L.A. According to rumors floating around, he wants to play for the Lakers, and for Kobe and Howard to be on the same team together is what avid fans have fantasized about ever since last season. In order to change for the better and make this deal happen, I would give up Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom (sorry guys, I do appreciate your contributions though). Plus with Howard playing in L.A., he’d still be able to keep his Disney endorsement, so it makes perfect sense for him.

But wait there’s more! Let’s dream a little bigger and aspire a little greater, because in a recent ESPN article there were discussions of the Lakers pursuing both Paul and Howard. Now how does that sound?

Sounds like I’m ready for the season to start.

However, Lakers’ fans we’re not alone. Sources say that cross town rival the Clippers also have intentions to go after both Howard and Paul. And like the Lakers, the Clippers are positioned — financially and talent-wise to make such a move, as well.

Hopefully the Lakers can begin the 2011-2012 season acquiring both Paul and Howard, but either or, whoever we receive, there is going to be changes and adjustments made.

In order to embrace such new growth, you must leave behind the old practices of the past. And believe me, Kobe left those old practices behind when they got swept by the Mavericks in the playoffs last season.

-Ronsolo

Rick Loomis / L.A. Times

It’s the 60th day of  the Occupy L.A. movement, and two days after the Los Angeles Police Department’s (LAPD) deadline for protesters to leave their makeshift camp that surrounds City Hall.

While many of the protesters have packed up and left, there’s still about half of the original population of die hard demonstrators still advocating for social and economic democracy.

If the demonstrators decline to disperse then they will likely be raided by LAPD tactical forces, arrested and forced to leave.

But once all the commotion dies, and City Hall is finally free from the multitudes of peaceful protesters, what will become of the Occupy movement?

Steve Lopez of the L.A. Times proposes they take the Occupy movement on the road, and purchase a bus.

“You’ve heard of Meals on Wheels? This would be Squeals on Wheels,” wrote Lopez, in a recent article. “If a college rally were being held against budget cuts and tuition hikes, the Occupiers would head to it — and scream the loudest.”

“Occupiers could stage read-ins at the hundreds of Los Angeles Unified schools that have lost library staffers,” suggested Lopez. “And sit-ins on the front lawns of every CEO who got a fat bonus while laying off employees.”

I’d actually like to “piggyback” on Lopez’s idea and take it a step further, and try to earn a profit and commercialize this momentum that was created by the Occupy movement.

If you have a cause that you need lobbying for, who’re you going to call? PRO-TESTERS!!!

That’s right. Planned demonstrations, coordinated and executed by the Occupy Group ™, on behalf of paying organizations.

Want to ban high fructose corn syrup? Who’re you going to call? PRO-TESTERS!!!

Gas prices too high, and want sustainable sources of energy? Who’re you going to call? PRO-TESTERS!!!

And if the NBA hadn’t recently come to an agreement, guess who’s going to “occupy” the Staples Center?                PRO-TESTERS!!!

— Ronsolo